Why oh why must I be supportive?

So, believe it or not, I haven't forgotten about this blog. Also, believe it or not, I've been knitting. Knitting a bunch, actually, ever since we got back. And soon, I hope, I will have pictures of said knitting to show you. But first we have to make sure the digital camera survived it's week-long sojourn in the trunk of the car (oh, how I wish I were kidding).

I haven't been blogging much for two reasons.

One, because I have been in a seriously grump-ass mood, and I don't think anybody needs to read grumpiness from me, seeing as there seems to be an awful lot of grumpiness going around these days.

Two, because every time I have a good idea of something to blog, the computer is taken.

"But Thorny," you say, "didn't you say Caz would soon be done with his writing projects?"

Why yes, dear Reader, I did say that. But then a funny thing happened...

I went and turned into a Supportive Partner. Of all the rotten luck.

See, Caz went off for this gaming convention at the beginning of the month, and I was all Super-Mom for a few days, and then we visited my in-laws and then we came back and whined to each other for a day or two about how hard all that travelling was and crabbed about how empty the refrigerator was and procrastinated going to the store for a day or so (don't ask what we lived on, it wasn't pretty - luckily there was some bread in the freezer).

And it was all supposed to be over, the whole gaming convention thing. That was going to be his one con of the year and then he'd be done. And life could get back to normal.

This is the part where God laughed so hard he may have pulled something.

See, it seems Caz's little jaunt to Origins was successful, but not in the way I'd hoped. I'd hoped he would come back and people would think he was a great writer and give him lots of high-paying writing projects to do. Instead, people seem to think he's a cool game designer and are really jazzed about this RPG he's been working on.

So, after spending one night in a total snit saying things like, "I'm sick and tired of sacrificing for your dream!" I spent much of the next day going, "Oh, dammit. Dammit dammit dammit to hell. He's got to try to write this book and release it at GenCon. And he's going to have to go to GenCon too. He's going to have to. Crap on a friggin' stick!" There was a lot more cussing than that, just for the record. But I'm sure you all can guess which of the seven words you can't say on TV figured most prominently in my swearing (hint: it begins with F).

To make a long story a smidge shorter, Caz now has about two weeks to write a book. You heard me. A book. Granted, it's something he's been dinking around with for a while and so the ideas are all put together and it's mostly putting words on a page, but that's still work. Plus he's got to get it all in order enough for his buddy to lay it out for him, and another friend to throw in a little artwork. And then there's all this other crazy stuff we're looking at trying to do, so that he can go to GenCon with cool Upstanding Business Guy things like business cards and a website. And did I mention we're still jobless in this corner of the world and so money is beyond tight?

Argh.

But really, all of that is, well... bizarrely enough, not that unusual for us. That's the kind of thing we seem to be able to pull off. I don't know why, but it's true. So please for the love of mike don't let that fail us now.

The thing that's been really steaming my nuts about the whole thing, however, is in the process of being an Extra-Deluxe Fuck-you Elite Supportive Spouse, I've screwed my own damn self. Because when I said, "Okay honey, you go on to Origins, I'll handle things here," there was the explicitly stated reward that I was going to get for that - Caz was going to handle things with the kids while I went off to Stitches Midwest and fondled a bunch of yarn I can't afford (and maybe brought some home too, even... but let's pretend I didn't mention that part).

Except guess when GenCon is scheduled for? Why, the same weekend everything else in the universe is scheduled for, of course! Grrr!

So, barring some kind of divine intervention, not only am I going to get to face another week or so of single mommy-hood (I know there are women out there who are single moms every day of the year and let me just say right now - I am not that tough.), but I'm probably not going to get to go to Stitches Midwest, either. Admittedly, I could go - I could stuff the kids into the double-stroller and just ovary up and do it. But my idea of a good time generally does not include wrestling really expensive yarns out of the incomprehensibly grubby hands of toddlers every four minutes. Nor of running after unwary knitters to return the ebony needles my little pilferers swiped out of their bags. Plus, Ben has twice now tried to bite a ball of yarn (horror does not begin to describe my feelings on issue), and so a yarn extravaganza seems... seems a lot like pushing my luck.

I know this GenCon thing is the right thing to do. And I know Caz is appreciative and all that rot. And I have a fair amount of hope that it's going to turn out to have been a really good thing.

But all the same? Being a supportive spouse really just blows goats, y'know?