Thorny Knits

I've got a husband, twin toddlers, a cat who I probably forgot to feed this morning, and never, ever enough time to knit.


Terrible Nightmare

I took a little nap earlier this afternoon, and despite being interrupted numerous times, I managed to have a really terrible, wretched dream.

I dreamed Caz and I had chanced upon this weird frozen custard shop in Milwaukee we've been to before, but have since been unable to locate (we haven't tried super-hard, mind you). The kids were with us, and so we took them in to buy some frozen custard.

Things were weird, blah blah, but the terrible part was just after I'd finished paying. I realized I'd left my purse sitting on the counter in front of the cashier. I had just stepped away, but the guy behind us had stepped forward anyway.

I said, "Excuse me," a couple times, and he didn't budge. I moved closer to realize that he was going through my purse!

So I shouted "Hey!" and "Get the hell out of there!" and all the usual things you shout when you catch some jerkwad rifling through your purse. He kind of shrugged and stepped away, and I went to check the contents of my purse were all still intact when I noticed he had a ball of purple yarn in his hand.

My wicked purple WICKED!! Somehow I'd stuffed all that knitting into a purse and this asshole was stealing it!

I shouted "Hey!" again and things on the order of "Give that back!" He smirked at me and held it out of my reach.

I took a US7 Denise Interchangeable tip and started jabbing at his chest and face with it. He laughed at me. I got even angrier and switched to a metal US1, again jabbing him in the chest and face, this time intending to do actual harm.

He continued to laugh at me, and started to threaten that if I really hurt him, he could have me arrested for assault. I shouted "Then give me my knitting back, dammit!" He just laughed at me some more and I struggled to figure out what to do next to get this jerk to give me my beautiful, wonderful (giant) sweater back.

And then, mercifully, I woke up.

I know at least some of what provoked the dream, though, which I'll report on later. Hope everyone has much better dreams than me tonight.


  • At Mon Jul 23, 07:06:00 AM CDT, Blogger Lanea said…

    Ooh, I hate dreams like that. So upsetting. They sound silly once you're awake, but while you're stuck in the dream, it's just terrible.

  • At Sat Jul 28, 10:55:00 PM CDT, Blogger graymama said…

    I am sorry, but reading this made me laugh a lot! It was funny to imagine you stabbing a yarn bandit with knitting needles.

    Then I sat back and felt blessed to call you my friend because you are even loyal to your yarn <3


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